| merry christmas and happy holidays |
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| i'm think i'm starting to get the fear. life is starting to get at me a good bit. it's all been madness just as it has always been madness since the day i was spat into this world. everyday that goes by it loses more of it's meaning and i try not to let it get to me but the soul of it all is just being sucked out by some vicious vampire or another. i don't know what to do with myself anymore, anything i try to do something with myself ends up being futile. there is no love in my life to help make me forget the damn meaninglessness, there is no goal i can set my mind to, i try to ask the big man upstairs for what i should do but no answer seems to come up. this river just leads to nowhere, but it's my fault but even if i had applied myself i don't think anything would have came of it, because it's always seemed the same to me every hope i've ever had has always turned into a farse and i don't think i can take it much longer. if i can find a way out of west virginia and get away from all the vampires i'm thinking maybe i could free myself or spiral down until i meet complete annihilation. i guess whoever reads this if anyone. i just want you to pray to whatever entity you believe in for me that destiny will find it's way to me.
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| things have been kick ass. i went to roger waters' dark side of the moon concert which rocked hard and was totally awesome. everything else has been crazy and good which is good. |
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| i'm finally out of fairmont thanks to alot of luck or something but whatever helped out thanks, especially rebecca fulaytar for the jesus miracle. i've been doing pretty good i got a job at Gumby's Pizza in morgantown and have been living there for a month now. so finally i'm free and it's damn good. but other than that not too much is going on it's been somewhat slow. i'm hoping things to get better but we'll just see. |
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| i went to arden yesterday got drunk then jumped off the rock with my wallet in my pocket and then it was washed down the river. so i have lost identity, bank cards, and insurance card plus the money so things aren't getting any better, so now i have no transportation or means of anything. i just don't know what to do with myself, i just want out of this damn place, and i'm going to no matter how much time it takes i just hope i don't go insane before then. |
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